Flip It: Catalyst to Radical Change
I love being an intentionality coach.
Oh … you don’t know what that is?
It’s kind of like a life coach, without the squirmy title of … “life coach.”
It’s kind of like a personal development coach, but on a different level. It’s more than just a career coach, wellness coach or an executive coach, too.
In my mind, an intentionality coach is all of that – wrapped up in a beautiful self-branded package.
Back in April, I became a Maxwell Leadership Certified Team Member, which included my certification to be a Leadership Coach. But after diving head first into helping people through one-on-one coaching, I’ve realized that it’s so much more than even that.
I get the amazing opportunity to work directly with seekers who crave to make a positive impact in their lives. I get the awe-inspiring pleasure to help these individuals unlock radical change.
Real quick … what’s a “seeker?”
If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably a seeker.
A seeker always wants more – content with where they are in life, but far from satisfied.
They’re curious. They’re constantly asking themselves, “What’s next?” They’re hopeful for a better tomorrow – even though today was pretty effing good.
A seeker is a 5Ker or 10Ker seriously considering running that half marathon.
They are influencers, entrepreneurs and sales people who are open to accountability. They are usually fitness-oriented and faithful. They are bold, adventurous, intentional and most-importantly grateful.
All of my coaching clients are seekers – head-strong, driven and craving more; they are ready and willing to make small tweaks so they can level up, be the best versions of themselves and be a light for the world around them.
I love being an intentionality coach, which honestly is a little shocking.
Radical honesty: For most of my adult life, I was totally against the idea of becoming a “life coach.” I think a lot of it had to do with that label, but I was also very ignorant to what a “life coach” did. Once I began to understand personal development coaching, I fell head over heels in love with it.
The thing I love the most … the “light switch moments.” Those fire me up and keep me coming back for more.
Real quick … what’s a “light switch moment?”
It’s when my clients talk through an issue or challenge, we work together to come up with a short-term game plan and then you see their self-induced haze begin to lift. It’s like something in their mind literally switches. I can see it in their eyes, and they usually tuck their lips and/or slowly nod their head and/or smirk through an intentional exhale.
You personally know this non-verbal response, because you’ve done it thousands of times over the course of your life. We’ve all done it thousands of times.
It’s saying: “Yep … there it is … that’s what I’m supposed to do! That makes sense. So simple, but so powerful. Let’s ride!”
In the short amount of time that I’ve been coaching, these “light switch moments” have happened more than I ever would have anticipated. They might not happen during every session, but they do show up regularly.
And when they do happen, it’s like gas on my fire!
With the permission of one of my clients (shoutout to Matt), I wanted to share a powerful story that involves one of these “light switch moments.”
This story revolves around a coat rack and the phrase "walk the walk."
The backstory: Matt is a personal trainer, who has a huge heart for his clients and their success – whether they’re elite athletes, weekend warriors or fitness newbies. I’ve known Matt for a long time and, on several occasions, he has helped me navigate my fitness goals.
We’ve even started working together again. I assist Matt with personal development, while he kicks my ass in the gym and helps me reach my goal of being a badass. (He usually does this with a 14-pound medicine ball or a kettlebell).
I love working with Matt, because he’s a stereotypical seeker, possessing almost every attribute that I mentioned before. He’s a rock star, but he’ll be quick to admit that he’s not perfect.
His recurring challenge: Pulling the trigger on certain tasks.
My initial response when this came up in a coaching session: “Oh. Yeah. I totally forgot you're not human. Come on! Show yourself some grace, brother. Everyone in the history of forever struggles with this from time to time. Hell, I struggle with this all the time.”
He shared an example of a small task that he's been wanting to accomplish, but it was cemented on his To Do List, mocking him every time he glanced at it.
Matt: “I want to buy a coat rack for the gym. My clients don’t have a place to hang up their stuff.”
Radical honesty: I’m one of Matt’s clients, and I have never walked into his gym and thought, “Where the hell is this guy’s coat rack?!?!?” Nope. I just threw my shit on the floor and proceeded to let him whip my ass in shape.
Here’s the important part of this narrative: That coat rack was a big deal to Matt. He wanted to provide that for his clients. He didn’t want us to have to throw our stuff on the floor or pile it up on one of his benches.
The problem, though … his bullshit excuses were trumping the importance of the coat rack in his mind, which simply turned it into an albatross on Matt’s list of things to do.
We talked through it. We discussed why it was so important to him. We addressed any and all reasons why he hadn’t purchased that coat rack.
Finally, I said: “Go buy it today!”
Matt looked at me kind of strangely and said: “What?”
Me: “Go get it today! No excuses. You just explained to me why this was important to you. Do it!”
I had another reason for this tough love and direct call to action.
“This is more than just a coat rack,” I explained. “That coat rack represents everything on your To Do List that you’re dragging your feet on. If it’s important enough to you - do it! If it’s not that important, show yourself some grace and take it off your list of things to do. Make room for things that are important or fire you up.”
We were on the verge of a “light switch moment” when the conversation switched to eating lunch.
Real quick ... some more back story ... Matt is a grinder and has to squeeze in lunch around his training sessions.
Another “coat rack” on his To Do List was going to the grocery store and stocking up the refrigerator in his office. It was on his list. He needed to do it. But it usually got pushed to the side, which meant no food, which meant he probably wasn't going to eat again until dinner.
Me: “You’ve got to eat, brother.”
Matt: “I know.”
Me: “What if one of your clients came in to workout with you and they told you they skipped breakfast or lunch? You would jump their butt!”
Matt: “Damn right! You’ve got to eat. It’s the fuel for your...”
He stopped in mid-sentence when his words started to internally resonate.
Me: “You've got to walk the walk!”
He didn’t say a word. He just tucked his lips, nodded his head and smirked through an intentional exhale.
Me: “Tell me what’s going through your head.”
Matt: “That’s bothersome.”
I asked him to explain.
Matt: “I know that’s what I’m supposed to do – the grocery store, the coat rack – but it didn’t punch me in the face until you said ‘walk the walk.’ ”
He realized that he worked with clients every single day, helping them push through their excuses and live an active lifestyle. Matt is not the kind of guy who just talks the talk. He just needed a reminder.
Matt (whispering to himself): "I have to walk the walk."
I smiled. His “light switch moment” was profound, and I watched it happen sitting across from him at his conference table. It was awesome!
We agreed that everyone has their own “coat rack,” and we determined his motivation to stop making excuses and take inspired action was that simple whisper to himself: “Walk the walk.”
I. Love. Coaching.
Again, I work with my seekers – hand-in-hand – to unlock radical change. It's beyond satisfying.
After I left the gym that day, I started thinking about my own “coat rack,” and I asked myself if I was personally walking the walk. As I pulled out of the Sphere Fitness parking lot, I just tucked my lips, nodded my head and smirked through an intentional exhale.
You see, those “light switch moments” are the catalysts for the ripple effects across our lives. I'm so blessed to get the opportunity to ride my clients' waves.
NOTE 1: I take confidentiality with my clients very seriously. It was extremely important to me to have Matt’s blessing before publishing this blog post, so I let him read it beforehand. He gave me a thumbs up, and said he chuckled a big reliving our conversation.
NOTE 2: The next time I walked into Matt's gym, there was a coat rack by the front door.
NOTE 3: There is a great chance that Matt will be getting new Sphere Fitness t-shirts that say "Walk the Walk;" there is an outside chance that I'll have a new t-shirt with a
coat rack on it.